


there’s nothing in between

by girlwatchings



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Modern AU, Song fic, idk i was listening to taylor swift
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-26
Updated: 2014-10-02
Packaged: 2018-02-18 20:49:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2361746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girlwatchings/pseuds/girlwatchings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>love; verb<br/>1. feel deep affection or sexual love for (someone).<br/>"do you love me?"<br/>synonyms: be in love with, be infatuated with, be smitten with, be besotted with, be passionate about;</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. all too well

**Author's Note:**

> i was listening to taylor swift and i just went "wouldn't it be great to write a one shot for every song off the red album?" and thus, this fic was born.

Clarke’s never been good at relationships. A therapist would say it goes back to the time when her father was murdered (and her mother had a hand in it). Clarke prefers to say that finding out the supposed love of your life was already married kind of puts a damper on the whole happily ever after thing, but hey; either way, Clarke always makes it a point to mention to whoever she’s dating that _she’s not good at relationships and it’s nothing against you but don’t expect this to work out, okay?_

(The first time she’d told Bellamy this he simply stared at her before laughing and pulling her down with him on the couch. “Lucky for you, princess, I’m not good at relationships either.”)

It’s not that Clarke intentionally keeps people out, it’s not that she doesn’t want to be loved and love someone, it’s just that she can’t take anymore hurt. She lost her father when she was seven-fucking-teen and threw herself into med school, only to drop out when she found out her mother was getting re-married to the man that had a hand in her father’s death i.e. he knew the hit man, and well, that’s just too much of a coincidence for Clarke to ignore; and then, then if you throw in Finn Collins to the mix, the asshole with the wife at home who wanted kids, well… she’s just been hurt enough, okay?

(The first time he screws up, she wants to cry cause _everyone, everyone fucking told her_.

“I screwed up and I’m sorry.”

“So many people have warned me about getting into this with you… you know, they say, he’s a bad guy, Clarke… you’ve got enough shit going on in your head, you don’t need to add to that… and you know what I tell them? I tell them that they don’t know you like I do. That you’re a good guy…  you are right?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re a good guy… Christ, Bellamy, please don’t make a fool out of me.”

“I won’t.”)

* * *

They have good days and they have bad days. He takes her to meet his sister and her fiancée one day, and thinks it’s a good day. They sing loudly to 80’s Pop on the drive up there,

(“You have a scary amount of Bon Jovi on here, Blake.”

“Shut up and sing the damn song, Griffin.”)

and then he almost runs a red light at the main intersection in town, all because he was looking at her. And oh Christ, she’s never felt this way, she’s never felt more loved, more alive. She’s meeting his sister for Christ sake, and he’s even told her that not a lot of people meet his sister, that not a lot of people mattered enough to him for him to bring them upstate. His sister is his world, is what Clarke gathers, and all she has to do to prove that is look at him when he looks at Octavia and honestly; it restores her belief that there is good in this world.

(“You’re my future, you know that right, Princess?”)

* * *

They fight a lot, sometimes over the stupidest things, like the way he looks at her because honestly she’s just not used to that. She’s not used to being looked at like she’s loved and wanted and needed. It throws her for a fucking loop and honestly, it scares her. So she picks fights, because fighting is what Clarke Griffin is good at, fighting is what she’s used too.

(“Stop doing that,”

“Stop what Princess?”

“The eye thing. I don’t like it.”

“Liar.”

“Shut up.”

“Make me.”

“Oh I will, but you might moan a little.”)

Sometimes, though, he doesn’t play by the rules of fighting and nine times out of ten their fights end with his head between her legs making her scream in some other kind of way, while stars dance before her eyes. Clarke can’t say she complains, because when she and Finn fought, he left for days and now that she knows he was going home to his wife, it hurts even more. 

* * *

They break up in the winter. At some point everything just comes to a stop, and the worst part is that Clarke was just getting used to this – this routine of pulling semi-normal hours at the hospital, coming home to Bellamy cooking and then falling asleep on his chest. She was just getting used to the idea that someone really fucking wanted her the way she wanted them.

(“You know, it’s your fault!” He yells at her, and by this point, the tears are streaming down her face. “You can’t for one second just let yourself go and live and love and enjoy! Is that so hard, Clarke? Am I really that hard to love?”

She wants to yell back no, no it’s you it’s me I told you I wasn’t good at this, but he takes her silence as answer and leaves her crappy apartment with a huff and slammed door.

When he doesn’t answer her calls and a box of her stuff from his apartment is one her front doorstep one day, she feels time stop.)

* * *

He calls three months after their break up and it takes everything in Clarke not to cry, because fuck, her life was just starting to get a little bit normal again. Her friends finally stopped asking about him, his sister finally stopped sending postcards; Clarke’s finally stopped crying herself to sleep at night. Time has started to move again and she can’t fucking do this again.

(“I miss you,”

“Don’t,”)

* * *

Here’s the thing about Clarke Griffin – she’s never been good at relationships. It’s not that she doesn’t try to be, it’s just how she is (a dead father, psycho mother and a string of bad exes does that too a person) but she tries. That’s what matters. She tries to be better at relationships, even more so after Bellamy Blake. She tries to stop writing the history of the relationship before it’s even begun, she tries to stop picking fights, she tries to stop choosing the bad guys and go for the good guys… she just fucking tries.

It’s hard to try, however, when she can’t stop comparing those she does choose to Bellamy.


	2. red

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> still not 100% happy with this chapter, but we're posting it anyway :)

I.  
It starts like this – Monty says something stupid, the rest of them laugh, Clarke takes a sip of her moonshine and somehow, her eyes lock with Bellamy’s and that’s that. Because here’s the thing – they’ve been dancing around something, anything for the last year. They’ve been playing will they or won’t they through every piece of bullshit Earth’s thrown at them, through Grounder attacks, peace treaties and attempted murders from the Ark camp 15 clicks south from where they are – they’ve survived it all and somehow it doesn’t really start till now.

II.  
It’s easy till it’s not. One moment Clarke thinks that they might actually be able to work, that spending nights in his hut and with Bellamy won’t really affect how they work together. She thinks that they’ll be able to keep everything in nice little packages, not having to worry about how their relationship will affect the function of the camp. Of course, she’s wrong because one minute their fighting about ration distribution of Monty’s moonshine and the next their screaming about how she’s privileged and she is really the best judge of who gets what and he’s needs to get his head out of his ass and see how this is going to be a good thing. It’s not exactly a break up, but it’s not like their still together either, so Clarke takes the hint, stops going to his tent to sleep every night. (Clarke hates that 3 days later she sees another girl leaving his tent.)

III.  
“This isn’t healthy, you know,” Raven says, at the door of the med bay, features pulled into a tight frown.  
“Hi Raven, how are you today? I’m good, bit busy with preparing for winter but you know how it is…” Clarke mutters sarcastically, while checking over the med bay supplies. If they wanted to be on top of whatever winter would throw at them, they’d need to stock up…  
“Clarke,”  
The blonde sighs, and shoots raven a look from over her shoulder. “What’s not healthy, Raven?” Clarke mutters, because really – there is so much wrong with her these days, her semi-best friend is gonna have to be a little more clearer.  
“You and Blake. Do you guys even see how you’re affecting the rest of the camp? People have started taking sides,”  
Clarke rolls her eyes to her self because what is this, it’s like fucking Earth Skills on the Ark all over again. “If you’re injured Raven, sit down, if not, get out and go do something useful.” She doesn’t want to talk about the fucked up relationship she has… _had_ … with Bellamy. (Even more so now because she’s just only noticed that he’s only sleeping with the same girl she saw 3 days after their break-up.)

IV.  
She’ll stare at him sometimes; from across the camp or when they’re on foraging trips with the others. She’ll watch the way he laughs and grins and stands and just looks so much happier than they did when they first arrived on Earth. She’ll watch him and then she’ll just miss him – it knocks her over like a ton of bricks because wow, wow she did not expect to miss him this much – she did not think she could miss him this much. It hurts, and for the first time since they broke up, Clarke wants to cry, something that goes against the policy she had when it came to Bellamy Blake. I will not cry tears over Bellamy Blake, I will not show him weakness, I will not be what everyone around us expects me to be.

V.  
One night, Monty and Jasper cook up their most potent batch of hooch yet and Clarke, wishing to drown the memories swirling inside of her head, drinks just a little bit too much – just enough that she goes into Bellamy’s tent, swaying on her feet and says the things that’ve been bottled up for far too long.  
“I just loved you, you know? All I did was love you…” Her words slur together and Bellamy sighs, putting his hands on her forearms.  
“Princess… you’re drunk, why don’t you go home and get some sleep?” (She doesn’t know how to tell him that he is her home – that where is right now is where she wants to be.)  
“No no, don’t Princess me… you lost the right to call me that,”  
“It’s my nickname for you… I’ll never loose that right.”  
Which – okay, Clarke’s not a weepy drunk. She’s honest and affectionate and not weepy. Trust Bellamy fucking Blake to make her a weep drunk.  
“All I did was love you… why didn’t you love me back?” She whimpers before bursting into tears, hiding her face in the crook of Bellamy’s neck.

VI.  
(In the morning she’ll remember Bellamy putting her to bed in his bed, stroking her hair and whispering that he did love her – he’s just too stupid to say it out loud. In the morning she’ll remember the way he didn’t get any sleep that night, instead watched her sleep. In the morning she’ll be guilty and shamefaced and sneak out before he wakes up. In the morning she’ll trudge her way to the med bay, take one of the white pills that came from the Ark supply trade and find a note on her desk in Bellamy’s familiar scrawl.  _“Remember Princess – a sober man’s thoughts are a drunk man’s actions.”_  In the morning she’ll smile for the first time in what feels like months because _holy fuck he loves her._ )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, hope you all enjoyed and reviews make my day!


	3. we are never getting back together

Octavia loves her brother – really, there’s never a doubt about that. The guy gave up his fun years to raise her after their mother passed away, and that’s something that Octavia can’t ever forget. (Like, seriously, her brother fucking traded drunken sex, jello shots and beer pong for homework and curfew. She owes him, okay? Doesn’t matter if they’re siblings, the only family they’ve got – she owes him.)

But there are days when she really wants to just sit him down and yell at him, or hit him because Christ he’s such an idiot. Today is one of those days.

It’s game day, and there’s food and booze and family and friends and Octavia’s new boyfriend, Lincoln. She was really hoping to introduce him to Clarke and Bellamy today, hoping that they’d love him as much as she loves him, but that kind of shot to hell 15 minutes into the game.

 _“I don’t care if the dishes are done. If you care, you do it!”_ Bellamy yells and Octavia winces from where she stands to Lincoln with an ice-cold beer. Monty and Jasper don’t even notice the yelling, the lucky bastards. Though they did grow up with Clarke, and that girl has a got mile long list of issues with her Mom – so they’re most likely used to it.

There’s a clang in the kitchen, and Octavia really hopes that Clarke doesn’t take a knife to her brother. She’s sympathetic to the cause, really, but she likes having her brother around. If he died, life’d kind of suck. _“Great! Then I don’t care if you don’t have an orgasm. If you care, you do it!”_

There’s dead silence in the room, save for the sounds of the TV blaring the game, (The Steelers are up by 7, Octavia idly notes) and everyone freezes because _who the fuck knew that Clarke had that in her?_

Here’s the thing about Clarke and Bellamy – they fight. A lot. Like, the amount of times that Octavia has shown up at their place for dinner, only to note that Clarke’s angrily dialling the take out place with a half empty bottle of Vodka near by and Bellamy’s no where to be found, well, it’s a lot more than she cares to admit, okay? The only thing worse than all the fighting is how much they break up – like, Octavia thought she and Jasper were bad, but nope, Clarke and Bellamy take the fucking cake.

The worst thing about the insanity that is Clarke and Bellamy is that they’re fucking perfect for each other. Clarke doesn’t take any of Bellamy’s shit, and Bellamy refuses to let Clarke blame herself for everything she might have caused. They challenge each other; they bring out the real selves in each other. Course that scares the shit out of the both of them, hence the fighting and the breaking up and the conversations that start over trivial things and end up in mind-blowing sex.

(Again, the amount of times Octavia has gone over to Clarke’s place with Jasper for some TV show marathons, only to find her brother fucking her best friend on the kitchen floor is far too many times. A sister does not need to see her adult brother’s naked ass, okay?)

Does this happen often?” Lincoln whispers in her ear, and Octavia clenches her jaw.

“More than you’d like to know.”

_“Oh shut your mouth, Clarke!”_

_“Oh I'm sorry, Bellamy, I thought you liked it wide open!”_

“Okay and we’re done here!” Octavia exclaims, slamming down her beer on the table and grabbing Lincoln’s hand before dragging him out the door. Monty and Jasper follow close behind – no one tries to say goodbye to Bellamy or Clarke or clean up or turn off the TV.

* * *

 When Octavia sees Clarke at on her lunch break three days later, the blonde has a dreamy smile on her face and ring on her finger.

“He asked me to marry him,” She states,

“What?” Octavia screeches, “But the fighting and the breaking up –“

“I know we fight a lot, and we break up a lot but I love him you know? I don’t want to be anywhere else. Besides, after about the 5th time you tell him that we’re never getting back together it kind of stops having meaning,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know that this is kind of short, but i had to make this fluffy i couldn't take anymore angst. as always, hope you enjoyed and reviews make my day!

**Author's Note:**

> as always, hope you enjoyed, and reviews make my day.


End file.
